How many years has it been?!
Hello to anyone reading! It's been what... 3... 4 years? Where have I been? Well - the same place I was last, geographically speaking. I love life out in the country. I don't really miss the beach, although it's good to visit sometimes.
So... I'm disabled. I probably wouldn't have identified myself as disabled 4 years ago, but due to my severe symptoms, the term is fitting now. I'm disabled and proud to be. Being disabled is not something to be ashamed of.
I still live with fibromyalgia but have now also been diagnosed with POTS - Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. I've probably had POTS longer than fibromyalgia. I believe fibromyalgia actually began later for me. I had been previously misdiagnosed with pre-diabetes, which didn't make much sense at the time. However, insulin resistance is associated with POTS, so it all makes sense now. According to many different specialists, my health issues were caused by a traumatic past. I will spare you the details, however I do talk about these issues on my YouTube channel - mind you, my uploads are not as frequent as they used to be.
One thing I am consistently doing lately is painting my nails. It has been a very therapeutic creative outlet for me. As much as I love writing or editing videos, it is something that is very physically demanding for me. It might not sound like sitting down for extended periods of time is something that is difficult to do... but that is one of the things I struggle with most. With POTS, fibromyalgia and sciatica - sitting down for extended periods of time is impossible for me. I need to have my legs elevated when I sit due to issues with blood flow. If I sit down too long my sciatica flares up. Hence why I am not working and no longer looking for work. I've been there, done that, tried that. It just didn't work out for me, and that's okay. I've talked about all these issues and more on my YouTube channel.
So... if I can't sit down all day, and I can't work, what do I do? Several things, actually. I walk. My goal is at least 5000 steps a day, and I've been keeping up with that consistently for months. When I need to rest, I lay down. I also clean a lot, which isn't something new. I've always liked to keep my environment clean and tidy. I find it makes me feel better mentally. Although there are certain tasks that I cannot do. I cannot stand long enough to manage cooking or doing dishes due to POTS.
I'm also busy taking care of a bird! Rhi and I are now proud bird mums. Bringing a bird home was one of the best decisions we've made. We only made the decision after having experienced caring for a sick bird and realising how much joy that bird brought to our lives, and thinking, "We can actually do this". We have a little green cheek conure, Minyip. She is so sweet, and sassy. She's asleep under my hair as I type this. She is actually the most spoiled bird there could ever be. She loves us both very much and tells us this daily! Although, in her little grumbly voice, her "I love you" sounds like, "Pa-chew-chew"! We both love her so much.
Minyip keeps me busy during the day while Rhi is at work. She is also part of my nail-painting hobby, because she actually gets genuinely upset if I'm not wearing nail polish. I make sure to paint my nails away from her, of course, but she loves to pose with my hand as I'm taking pictures of my nails for my instagram account. She has become quite a hit, honestly. The nail community that I am part of on instagram has been so welcoming and supportive. I've started joining collabs now! It's brought me a lot of joy in life. My handle is @holojessus if you are interested!
So, my major life focus at the moment is healing. I've been through a lot, and now I need to allow myself the time I need to heal. I'm also still searching for answers in regards to my health and following up on more unexplained symptoms. For example, my gut health hasn't been well for years. I was treated for SIBO however the symptoms persisted. Another example is my jaw, which is consistently cracking, sometimes so hard that it hurts to eat. I am seeing a chiropractor with Rhi at the moment, which has been helpful in reducing my sciatica and back pain. He's also addressing my jaw - something my dentist picked up on as being "not quite right". There's that and my so called 20-20 vision which is also randomly blurry and sometimes I see double!
Physically speaking I'm doing as well as I possibly can, mentally also - but I have a lot of work to do. I'm just glad that Rhi is being so supportive during this time and I have Minyip to keep me company in my solitude. I've had a lot of time to reflect on myself and my life and focusing on moving forward.
So, thank you for reading. I wish you well, whoever you are.
